The First Cut is the Deepest

About a week ago, I had a long conversation with a good friend of mine regarding the topic of first loves and the deeply broken hearts that ensue following a break-up with a first love. Both me and this individual have experienced what it feels like to care about someone so deeply and what a wonderful feeling it is to love openly and freely without abandon or the fear of having your heart broken. We also understand how exceedingly painful it is to endure a break-up with this person. It takes months, sometimes a year or two (or even longer) to get past it. Notice that I said get PAST it, because it's very hard to completely forget them once and for all. This type of person will always hold a small piece of your heart, or be etched in your memory in some way or another.

This being said, there are two types of people that endure these breakups. The first type of person is the kind that might go through a rebound relationship, (it's quite common) but following this rebound period comes to their senses and realizes, "Life is too long to spend unhappy and bitter about the first person who broke your heart." After all, how many people do you meet that actually END UP with their high school/college sweetheart? Not too many, my friends. Anyway, this "aha" moment usually occurs after meeting someone new, and realizing, in fact, that there are other wonderful people in the world who, perhaps, might be even better for you than this first love, and that maybe, just MAYBE, everything happens for a reason (even though that is one of my least favorite sayings, I'm starting to wonder if it's true, even occasionally).

Just the other night a hometown football game
My wife and I ran into my old high school flame
And as I introduced them the past came back to me
And I couldn't help but think of the way things used to be

She was the one that I'd wanted for all times
And each night I'd spend prayin' that God would make her mine
And if he'd only grant me this wish I wished back then
I'd never ask for anything again

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

She wasn't quite the angel that I remembered in my dreams
And I could tell that time had changed me
Inn her eyes too it seemed
We tried to talk about the old days
There wasn't much we could recall
I guess the Lord knows what he's doin' after all

And as she walked away and I looked at my wife
And then and there I thanked the good Lord
For the gifts in my life

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he may not answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

It's kind of like the song by Garth Brooks, which I always thought was kind of corny, but strangely enough it's got some truth behind the lyrics: So, I guess the moral of this story is, life is too short to make yourself miserable about events that you don't have control over. If you give your best in a relationship, and it still doesn't work out, you have to realize after awhile that it might not have been your fault, and there's no sense torturing yourself and making yourself unhappy. It took me a lot of time and a rebound or two before I realized that sometimes things DO happen for a reason and work out despite what you though you wanted/was best for you.

Never again will I allow myself to indulge my painful memories like I did in the past, and replay certain events over and over and OVER in my mind, when I could be spending the time with someone who appreciates and cares for me despite the things that might have led to the end of a previous relationship. If I learned one thing from that breakup, that would be it.

I'll leave you with the words of Rhett Butler to Scarlett from Gone with the WInd...
"There's a big world out there, and I shan't be lonely."